Aloette Multi-Action Scrub

It's that hallowed time again, and I'm certain you've all been on some intense virtual pins and needles in anticipation. I've actually been on literal pins and needles since last I posted, but that's only because I am far more metal than you will ever be. It's cool though, I still love ya.

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Picture it: It is some day of the week ... a small package arrives unexpectedly - my mind reels and my left eyebrow twitches with disquietude. Not one to remain excluded, my right one starts in as well. Amid queries from my family about whether or not I'm currently experiencing a stroke, I rip into the box and find my newest treasure - Aloette Multi-Action Scrub. I was astonished to realize it had apparently just arrived from outer space, based on the airy, cradling embrace of the inter-planetary sleeping cocoon in which it rested.

Well, this is pretty rad.

I was excited - aflutter, even - to learn its secrets as well as what it would do to my face skin.

I didn't have to wait long - this note was included:

... and don't let your meat loaf.

Was it some sort of code? Nay. It was referring to the bathtub full of ladies on the opposite side.

You're too late, sister. My face has long held exactly this expression.

The only thing I had left to do was try it for myself. I removed all of my clothing and vigorously splashed myself with warm water. In hindsight, I may have over-prepared for an experience which involved exfoliating just my face, but I'm sure the effect it had on my opinion of the product is negligible.

I clutched the efficiently pre-opened tube in my eager hands and trembled. Today was the day I would learn what it felt like to have my pores penetrated with aloe, honey and papaya extracts, delivered via the gentle yet insistent friction of almond meal, kaolin and natural exfoliants.

I freed the emulsion from its tubular prison with the kind of force only a desperate woman covered in dead skin could apply. The portion fell, silently, into my waiting palm in a perfectly cylindrical snake of deep-cleansing grit. Bliss.

Massaging gently with the tips of my four favorite ready-for-business fingers, I meticulously covered every curve of my face - excluding my eye area. Once satisfied with my efforts, I rinsed thoroughly and raised my head to regard my countenance in the mirror. I couldn't recognize my face ... I'm practically blind without my glasses.

After a 10-minute search (it's hard to find your glasses without your glasses) I regained my sight and took a look. My skin - my life - would never be the same. I glowed like one recently irradiated.


In all seriousness, it's a great exfoliating scrub. The scent is neutral, and it didn't leave my face feeling irritated or overly stripped of moisture. I didn't even feel the need to use lotion afterward, because my skin wasn't tight or weird. It basically made me not notice my face for awhile, which is definitely better than being hyper-aware of it.


Buy Aloette!